Posted by
Green Faerie on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 7:29:46 PM
So, yet another celebrity (Jessica Alba) is pregnant and unmarried. As with other recent pregnant and unmarried celebrities like Nicole Richie and Halle Berry, the media will gush over the "wonderful" news, what Miss Alba is buying for her baby, the fabulous shower that will cost more than what most of us make in a year, whether it's a boy or a girl, and what bizarro name will be bestowed upon the tot when he or she is born in one of those expensive suites at Cedars-Sinai Hospital.
There's little likelihood of a quick wedding ceremony between now and then. After all, a wedding befit a movie princess takes too long to plan and just won't get done before the baby arrives. That's if she even wants to marry the guy.
It used to be embarrassing for any girl to be in this situation and at the very least, one kept the pregnancy quiet until well after the quick civil wedding ceremony. But now to the mass media, it's no big deal. We're supposed to be happy for these people and not pass any sort of judgment on them. Having babies with men you're not married to and may never be married to hunky dory to the cognosceti. Speak out and you'll be told you're a horrible ol' meanie and you need to get with it. Marriage is for losers and there's no point to committing to a relationship that won't last anyway. (Unless you're gay...then marriage rocks.)
Pro-lifers like me would also be called hypocritical and unfair...we'd condemn these chicks either way. They can't win.
Don't get me wrong. Even under the circumstances, I'm glad these women are choosing life. I can also have empathy for a 40-year-old woman like Halle Berry who hears the biological clock ticking loudly but has had a lot of lousy relationships with men, beginning with her father abandoning her early in life. The issue is they are not choosing marriage before setting out to start a family.
Why is this a problem? Because these women have a lot of money and don't face a lot of social disapproval from the media, overly-forgiving fans, or their peers, the pratfalls of having babies through uncommitted relationships are not apparent to them or the public. They can afford a small army of nannies and materially, these kids won't lack for anything.
But they will experience a lot of the same problems I see with kids in the juvvy system, whose dads are out of the picture and mom is either working two jobs to support them or collecting welfare. Boys grow up thinking they're never responsible for the babies that they make. After all, mom did just swell on her own and he did just fine without a permanent daddy in the house. No need to make an honest woman out of a pregnant girlfriend. Or two. Or three. Girls grow up thinking no man will ever commit to her, so there's no reason to wait for Mr. Right. You just raise the babies on your own; it's easier without some jerk guy hassling you anyway. And what takes the place of a real family? Peer groups who push dope, booze, and all around rotten behavior, whether it's catting around town or getting into fights. They may have some money in the bank and fancy cars, but they're just as broken inside as any kid on the street.
I find it strange that these celebrities want to influence what we wear, buy, see, and do but they never want to take any responsibility for glamorizing having kids out of wedlock. It's not glamourous to a teenage girl who's ill-prepared for motherhood on her own or the single mom who might be able to provide the basics but not much more for her children. It's not glamourous to the sons who grow up without a dad in the home to guide them to manhood or the daughters abandoned by their fathers, pretty much wrecking their outlook on the opposite sex for life. Just for once I'd like to see one of these actresses who had babies without benefit of marriage to just come out and say, "You know what? It was hard raising 'em on my own."